Thereness jokes
Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because their parents can’t buy them one.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Wait, they don't have any.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Why is there a middle school?
Because the kids that go there are middle class families.
Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you would never forget.
Friend: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Friend: Your life.
Me: Ahhh, I wish!
*jumps off building*
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
There are different types of Pokémon.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause there is no home to run to.
"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."
"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."
What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?
They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's going to kill me!"
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.