Thereness jokes
I’d make a joke to Fetty Wap on this, but there’s only a 50/50 chance he’ll SEE this.
*Ring Ring!*
Who’s there?
Soldier!
Soldier who?
You’ve soldier house! Congrats!
waHt
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
Q: Knock, knock? Who’s there? A: Boo. A: Boo who? Boo who? Don't cry, it's just a joke!
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
How do ducks fart?
Out their butt, quack.
What's the difference between Madlen Makan and Stephen Hawking?
Nothing, they're both dead.
What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?
I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To visit the ugly witch's house.
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
The chicken!
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
"'There is no God.' - Stephen Hawking (2011)
'There is no Stephen Hawking.' - God (2018)"
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.