Them jokes
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?
None of them. Immigration service is.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Did the tree high five the emos?
No, he just left them hanging.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.