Them jokes

Orphan

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

Snack

Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

Girl: Your card got declined.

Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.

Casualty

"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"

"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"

"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"

Mexican

If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?

None of them. Immigration service is.

Flag

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

Orphan

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

Condom

What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.

Chick

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.

Way

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

Liar

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

Slave

As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:

"Them slaves taking credit for everything."

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?

One of them actually came back.

Belt

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

Butthole

What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?

We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.

Dad

Similarity

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.