Them jokes

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.

Sound familiar? 🤔

Well, in September 11th...

What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?

"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*

Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”

Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”

Teacher: “Why?”

Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you told them twice.

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!

"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"

"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"

"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"

Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.

Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

Girl: Your card got declined.

Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.

What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

Little boys turn them on.

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?

We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.

If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.

As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:

"Them slaves taking credit for everything."

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.