Them jokes

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

Why do orphans have no bruises?

Because they have no dad to beat them.

My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked them, "Where are your parents?" Then she cried harder, so I left the orphanage.

What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?

"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.

My family is like treasure; you need a map and a shovel to find them.

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.

Sound familiar? 🤔

Well, in September 11th...

I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.

What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you told them twice.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.

The next day I saw a dead orphan.

What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?

I beat both of them.

What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.

Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.

Girl: Your card got declined.

Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.

Why do they call them apartments when they are together?

If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.

As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:

"Them slaves taking credit for everything."

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"