Them jokes
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
What is the best way to deal with bullies?
You shoot them.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Did the tree high five the emos?
No, he just left them hanging.
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them, "Where are your parents?" Then she cried harder, so I left the orphanage.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
My family is like treasure; you need a map and a shovel to find them.
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?
Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.