Them jokes
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
Why do trees never call Emos? Because they always hang up on them.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."
An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:
"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
How do you get a depressed person to jump?
Put them on a bridge.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?
We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.