Them jokes

Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"

One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!

A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says:

"I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"

Your tits look heavy. Need help holding them up?

Free service for tit holding!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

Dark humor and women are very similar...

Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.

I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

9/11 is like genders.

There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.

Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"

Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"

Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."

Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"

Husband: "Gold, of course!"

Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."

My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked them, "Where are your parents?" Then she cried harder, so I left the orphanage.

What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?

I beat both of them.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?

None of them. Immigration service is.

Why do orphans have no bruises?

Because they have no dad to beat them.

Did the tree high five the emos?

No, he just left them hanging.

My family is like treasure; you need a map and a shovel to find them.