I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.
Why do orphans have no bruises?
Because they have no dad to beat them.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend? I beat both of them.
I saw a kid crying so I asked them "where are your parents?" then she cried harder, so i left the orphanage
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... oh wait
Did the tree high five the emos
No he just left them hanging
Whats the difference between a orphans parents and his boomerang? One of them actually came back
What is an Orphans favorite toy
Answer: a boomerang cause it is the only thing that comes back to them
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
