Them jokes
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
Why do emos hang themselves? Because no one wants to hang around them.
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why do trees never call Emos? Because they always hang up on them.
Police: Come with me, I’m taking you home.
Orphan: Well, we need to find them first.
Police: Then I don’t need to take you home.
What do you say when an emo cuts themself?
"Like your cut, G."
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Is "buttcheek" one word, or should I spread them?
An orphanage is like a horse rescue: you rescue them, you rehabilitate them, and then you sell them to the highest bidder.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...
Why is it so hard to play hide-and-seek in an orphanage?
Because nobody is looking for them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......