Them jokes

Why do rappers love the gym?

'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

It depends on how hard you throw them.

9/11 is like genders.

There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.

Dark humor and women are very similar...

Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.

I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

What do a 9V battery and a butthole have in common?

We know we’re not supposed to put our tongue on them, but we do it anyway.

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

Little boys turn them on.

What do black parents and elevators have in common?

Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.

How are boobs and toys similar?

Both were originally made for kids, but dads usually end up playing with them.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?

One of them actually came back.

Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.

Religion crashes them.

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

When God gives you glory, you give it back.

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.

Did the tree high five the emos?

No, he just left them hanging.

If there are 4 Mexicans in a van, which of them is driving?

None of them. Immigration service is.