Them jokes

Why are gay men better than straight women?

Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.

Why can't science be combined with religion?

Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.

Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.

If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.

Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.

I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.

How do non-binary people kill people?

They slash them.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

Give them a Sandy Hook.

My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.

It's easy to tell if a skeleton is lying to you because you can see right through them.

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

Why are life and a penis alike?

Women make both of them hard.

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Why do orphans do so well in life?

When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.

You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.

How does the non binary kill white en Amy?

They/them.

What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?

Both get hard when we play with them.

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.