Them jokes
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
If a depressed kid tries to high five a tree, it leaves them hanging.
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
When you want Pringles, but a fat person was eating them, there were only three left, sweety.
Why do emo kids not like trees? They always leave them hanging.
Them, losers.
Why are gay men better than straight women?
Because gay men are more willing to look after kids once they swallow them.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
Why can't science be combined with religion?
Because science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
How does the non binary kill white en Amy?
They/them.
The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.