What did one pillow say to the other?
Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.
Them Jokes
There was a dude. He had a mondo dong.
His wife was like, "Yo, where are your balls?"
The dude says he left them in the fridge. His wife replies, "I knew those meatballs tasted weird!"
I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"
Dark jokes aren't funny... I can't see them at all.
Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.
Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.
Why can't orphans tell jokes?
They have no one to tell them to, people.
What does a wife and a boombox have in common?
They only work when you beat them.
Sexy hot girls with two booooobs. I should say I wanna suck them.
Q: How to hit an orphan?
A: Hit them with a family tree.
What do screen doors and blondes have in common?
The more you bang them, the looser they get.
I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.
You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.
Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
