Them jokes

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”

Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.

Did you know that if you go into an orphanage and tell them a "yo mama" joke, they won’t get it?

Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.

An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.

He called them: "Asperger's."

What does a stray cat/dog have in common?

Both of them don't have a home!

Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.

Ya know, genders are kind of like the Twin Towers.

There used to be 2 of them, but now it’s a touchy subject.

What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?

They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.

Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.

In fact, they hang with them!

Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.

Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.

Why can't orphans tell jokes?

They have no one to tell them to, people.

Why don't some people have balls? Because they play soccer with them.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?

Sans: What do you call them?

Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.

Why was the rapper always in shape?

Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!

One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"

Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."

His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"

Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.

Why do orphans love baseball?

Because it gives them a home to run to.