Them jokes

What did one pillow say to the other?

Nothing, meh, they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.

When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.

By the way, have you seen my sister?

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?

Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.

The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.

Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.

Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.

Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.

Why can't orphans tell jokes?

They have no one to tell them to, people.

So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?

They never had parents to protect them from it.

"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"

Dark jokes aren't funny... I can't see them at all.

What does a wife and a boombox have in common?

They only work when you beat them.

Sexy hot girls with two booooobs. I should say I wanna suck them.

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

Q: How to hit an orphan?

A: Hit them with a family tree.

What do screen doors and blondes have in common?

The more you bang them, the looser they get.

You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.