Them jokes

Yo mama

Yo mama's so nasty, they used to call them jumpolines 'til yo mama bounced on one.

Mathematician

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Migraine

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

Penaldo

Penalties. Tap ins. Ghosting. Diving.

Long ago, the four lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Germans attacked. Only Penaldo, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when his country needed him most, he vanished.

Orphan

Why can't orphans tell jokes?

They have no one to tell them to, people.

Wife

What does a wife and a boombox have in common?

They only work when you beat them.

Girl

Sexy hot girls with two booooobs. I should say I wanna suck them.

Blonde

What do screen doors and blondes have in common?

The more you bang them, the looser they get.

Orphan

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

Orphan

You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.

Bar

Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"

Story

Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?

Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.

Rhyme

The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.

Rapper

What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?

The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!

Orphan

Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.

Baby

What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?

You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.

Homeless

This isn't a joke.

There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!

Wall

Once upon a time, there was a poor man, a middle-class man, and a rich man. They were all talking about how they found happiness in their lives. The rich man said, "I found happiness through money and all of my assets." The middle-class man said, "I found happiness through my steady job and my loving household." The poor man said, "I may not have much, but I find my happiness through the little acts of kindness people show me."

And then the wall fell on them.

Name

How do Chinese people name their children?

They drop a tin can down a flight of stairs and call them the sound that's made.