Them jokes
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends how hard you throw them.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Memes
I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.
Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
A: You give them a Sandy Hook.
What does Michael Joseph Jackson say to adults when he sees them?
Keep away from me-hee-hee.
What's the difference between yo mama and German men?
The balls... German men don't have them.
Why was the rapper always on time?
Because they had a PHAT BEAT to keep them in check!
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.
It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
Why can't orphans be home schooled?
Because they have no parent to home school them.
My plants in my garden are like the Twin Towers; neither of them fell, just the flowers.