That jokes
Did you hear about the cemetery? I heard that people are dying to be there.
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
What picture is that?
Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
What do you call a dog that tells the time?
A watchdog.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.
Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
People say that they miss xxxtentacion, like the bullet didn’t.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
Oooh, I fall apart. Oooh, yeah, mmhmm. She told me that I'm not enough, yeah, And she left me with a broken heart, yeah. She fooled me twice and it's all my fault, yeah. She cut too deep, now she left me scarred, yeah. Now there's too many thoughts goin' through my brain, yeah, And now I'm takin' these shots like it's Novocaine, yeah. Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Never caught a feelin' this hard Harder than the liquor I pour Tell me you don't want me no more But I can't let go Everybody told me so Feelin' like I sold my soul Devil in the form of a whore Devil in the form of a whore You said it No, you said it No, you said it We'd be together Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Ice keep pourin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' Covered in scars and I can't help showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin' Ice keep droppin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' All these scars, can't help from showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin', yeah Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought.
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.