Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Well, probably the person in front of them.
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
Yo mama's so gay that, after watching Aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag!
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
