That jokes

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?

“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”

I have a lot of respect for trans women.

That surgery takes balls!

You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.

Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.

Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?

A: I'd hit that.

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?

Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.

My parents told me I was born on the highway.

Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.

The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.

A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"

What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"

What do you call a serial killer that only kills fat people?

A mass murderer.

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."

If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?

"Sir, we noticed a 2-year gap in your resume."

"That was when I went to Yale."

"A Yale man? Well, you're hired!"

"Thanks! I really need this yob!"

What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?

Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.

On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.

“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.

An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."

The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"

"Nein," said the old man.