That jokes

My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.

"That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."

Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.

I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!

I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

Q: I have a fish that can breakdance! A: Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

Why do black men have nightmares?

Because the only one that had a dream got shot.

Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?

Yeah, they're pretty holey.

My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.

Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.

When rejected:

That's ok, the 3 other little pigs said no, too.

I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk. (Goes to the store, grabs milk.) As I grab the milk, I thought, "Hey, I bet I can repeat her life twice."

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

Official Dj Penaldo playlist.

1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"

It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

He turns, he shoots!

And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...

What did the skeleton say to the other? "Wow, that song, 'Spooky Scary Skeletons,' really does send chills down my spine!"