That jokes
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
Your hairline is so far away that even the Hubble Telescope can't see it.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
Official Dj Penaldo playlist.
1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day."
Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"