That jokes

Question

  • BF: Babe, I have two questions.

    GF: Ok, ask!

    BF: Where have you been all my life?

    GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

    BF: Can you please go back there?

    Time

  • Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.

    Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.

    Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.

    Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?

    Bully: How would you know that?

    Me: Because she told me herself.

    Bully: How exactly?

    Me: She's on the phone right now.

    Phone: *High pitched animal noises*

    Me: Told you so!

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  • Dad

  • My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

    So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

    My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

    I said, "Literally."

  • 0
  • Account

  • Hello, This is my 4th (out of 9) account. The entire reason behind this post is for future personal benefit (don't ask and fuck off).

    Blach6 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach6 Left Site and forgot password

    Blach66 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach66 Cleared history and forgot password

    Blach66.1 https://worstjokesever.com/@blach661 Banned for Racial Slurs, I think all my N- know what that means.

    leoxchingchongbingblachheroine https://worstjokesever.com/@leoxchingchongbingblachheroine Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    flappytitesblachheroin https://worstjokesever.com/@flappytitesblachheroin Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    arsonisfuntransgenderblach https://worstjokesever.com/@arsonisfuntransgenderblach Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    ahitlerblach https://worstjokesever.com/@ahitlerblach Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

    blachxl (by Wade w my permission) https://worstjokesever.com/@blachxl Created and Abandoned, during the XL Account duplication rebellion( https://worstjokesever.com/community/p/6612f0fad44f00d05ac4c36e for more info)

  • 1
  • Mum

  • Your mum was so poor that she went to rob the bank, but she left because she couldn't find the cameras. She left her son, and the security [girl] gave him the camera.

    Education

  • Why isn't Hilary Duff interested in education?

    A. She said that she was not interested in learning about anything that was so yesterday.

    Satan

  • Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?

    Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."

    Therapist: That's not so bad.

    Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."

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  • Condom

  • True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.

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  • Robot

  • A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.

    The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.

    "New around here?" said the bartender.

    "Nah, been here a while," said the robot.

    Bartender "You can talk?"

    Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."

    Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"

    Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"

    The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.

    The robot seems to be just like a normal human.

    "Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.

    "The top minds in the world," said the robot.

    The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."

    Bartender, "What?"

    "Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"

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  • Day

  • One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

  • 1