That jokes
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.
"what's that on your wrist?"
"I'm a cutting board. duh"
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....
Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
Dr. Fauci would be surprised to know that R. Kelly didn't catch COVID-19.
But since COVID is 19, it's too old for him.
What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?
Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.
He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.
I told my friend that if he ever wants 50% off something at a store, just to take me with him and scan my wrist.
One day I told my wife that she drew her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”