That jokes

Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"

And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.

You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.

Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.

That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!

Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.

That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀

Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.

Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play, trash is always in your way. LOL

Your face is so big that not even you can see it.

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

When a rocketship went into space, seven astronauts went into space. That's why it's called NASA.

Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"

Not Stephen Hawking.

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

What’s a movie that’s related to an orphan? “Spider-Man: No Way Home.”

Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.

Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?

I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.

They brought it over but spilled it on me.

I said that was a udder failure!