That jokes

When Bob the Builder looks at your hairline, he says, "We can't fix that."

The difference between an apple and an orphan is that the apple gets picked.

I should name my dog Ariana Grande.

That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.

What do you call a rocky formation covered in meat?

Meatcanyon.

(Meatcanyon is actually a YT that has like 1M subs so watch some of his content if you want to, lol!)

Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.

I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.

I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”

That's the best I've done so far.

A man told his love interest she looked beautiful.

And then his love interest told him she had loads of things to tell him.

And after 3 minutes, she told him he looked fat, ugly, disgusting, creepy, and tiny.

Then the police came and arrested her for saying that.

Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.

Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!

Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!

The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.

The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?

Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?

A: I'd hit that.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.

He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.

Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?

Me: Want to play 911?

My little brother: What's that?

Me: It's where I kick your legs and you fall.

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

Someone on here said it previously:

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is until my mom took the urn away from me.

I'm pretty sure that 9/11 was the biggest game of Jenga ever recorded in history.