That jokes

You're so short that you don't have to open the front door to get inside the house.

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!

You're so short that you build a tiny house for yourself.

"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"

"Dick, you're fired."

"I'd buy that for a dollar."

The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.

In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!

Déjà Vat: the feeling that you’ve heard that bad joke before.

Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.

Why does the paper follow up with wine because it was junk? Do wrong, so wrong that you don’t even exist because nobody even eats it. Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Haha ha ha! Haha ha haha ha ha! Ha hah hah hah ha!

God promised John that if he came in 1st, he would get an eternal life, but instead he came in 5th and got a kettle!

Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?

Now he's a bronze fish.

They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.

Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Theodore.

Theodore who?

Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.

My mom said that I don't listen to homophones, but then I said, "No, I listen to headphones."

Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.

What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?

Anarexic.

I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.