That jokes
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
Having cockroaches in the house is a sign that you've food.
These things are like Ugandan girls, they hate poverty.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
If I had a dime for every time I heard someone say that F was the villain (Alphabet Lore), I would be rich.
You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.
Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.
Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.
It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."
I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."