That jokes

Pedophile

    • The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

    "Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

    So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

    "Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

  • 1

    • Snow

    • Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!

    Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?

    Snover1: There's snow in the way.

    Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.

    Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!

    "AAAAARRRGGH!!"

    Squirtle: Who is that?

    Snover2: That is Snow.

    Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!

    Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!

    "Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"

    "Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"

    Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!

    Neck

    • Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

  • 1

    • Stuff

    • So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.

  • 2
    • That memes

    Skeleton

    • Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.

    PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.

  • 0

    • People

    • I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.

    Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.

    Mama

    • Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!

    Dog

    • God creates dog.

    God: "You are man's best friend."

    Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

    God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

    Dog: "....."

    God: "And chocolate kills you!"

    Dog: "🐶"

  • 1

    • Knife

    • Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart. I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

    Emo

    • You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

    Police

    • The police officer in London, who used fake Covid rules to arrest a young woman, drive her more than 50 miles out of London in a hire car, murder her, and do whatever to her, has appealed against his Whole Life tariff.

    He should be relieved it was only that! Could've been worse... could've married her!

  • 1

    • Birthday

    • I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.

    They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!

    It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!

  • 2

    • Insult

    • Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:

    "I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣