That jokes

Kris is so dumb that his smartwatch went to NIGHT SCHOOL.

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it was made by the same company that made their life decisions.

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

How names were named.

"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."

"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"

Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).

Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.

Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.

The people in the second tower, "I'm so glad that plane didn't hit our building!"

The second plane, 🗿🗿🗿

What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.

Did you know the food that was on the plane?

It was the bomb.

Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."

What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

Siri is so ugly that she needs to go in the dumpster. She's so ugly that she needs to go in the toilet.

You will find your dad that left to get the milk before your hairline.

I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.