That jokes

New Windex ad:

You should get Windex for that dirty mind!

So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."

Yo mama so ugly when she played Five Nights at Freddy's, they thought that she was already in an animatronic costume.

Yo mama so fat that when she saw Thanos and he tried to snap her out of existence, it didn't work, and he said, "Man, I quit!"

Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"

Dad said, "It is, Son."

Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

That bloke Dean's a cunt!

Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.

What do you call a pig that does Karate?

Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."

Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"

Someone: . . .

What's something red that is bad for your teeth?

A brick.

The best joke: you. O wait, I can't even say that because jokes have meaning.

Yo, edgeline go so far back that I can now mow a lawn perfectly.

Why are orphans so fond of shadows?

They're the only thing that accompanies them always.

Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"

The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.

He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there's a knock at the door.

He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says, "What was that all about?"

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?

Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.