That jokes
I am not that good at making ice jokes, but it will suffice.
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "Youโve got to be choking me!"
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
If you're cleaning a vacuum cleaner, does that make you the vacuum cleaner?
Memes
That one
Dรฉjร Vat: the feeling that youโve heard that bad joke before.
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
El, can you grab me that bow?
I think that church is super burning ๐ฅต.
Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...
Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.
I wanted to put this up so I could say goodbye to everyone that I chatted with, like Gwen or MEG... So, yea, see you next year after Friday.
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
New Windex ad:
You should get Windex for that dirty mind!
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."