That jokes

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?

They get choked.

Wife: “I want another baby.”

Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”

What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)

What is black and white and red all over?

Answer: A newspaper.

That is what my 3-year-old told me.

What comes after 611? 711.

What comes after that? 811.

What comes after that? George W. Bush.

You know somebody has a fat ass when someone is standing between you and them, and all you can focus on is that trunk.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

What do you call that big, useless piece of skin attached to the outside of a vagina?

A woman.

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.

Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

Yo mama's so ugly that Sonic needed to go fast to get away from her face.

Mrs. Kadie, I heard about this Mr. Beast video about veggie burgers. I hope that you didn't trick me again.

Mr. Beast: Today we're gonna be eating a hot tender burger.

Mrs. Kadie: OMG he didn't say vegan!

Viewers: HAHAHA we tricked you!

Mrs. Kadie: That's it Mr. Beast, we're gonna pour blood on your face!

Mr. Beast & Chandler: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1!

We saved a Swiss flag from a house fire. I thought that's a plus.

What do you do when a French kid steals your pencil?

Load your MP-40 and tell him that you give him a history lesson on WWII.

Your forehead's so big that you dream in 4k.

First date be like:

Me: "I work with animals every day."

Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"

Me: "I'm a butcher."

Question: What does baseball have that orphans don't?

Answer: A home.