That jokes
Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.
Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!
You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
Becky: Rob, you're so stupid! Anything that you say is stupid!
Rob: .....BECKY :3
Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking can't stand up for himself.
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
Who thinks that dogs bark to munch?
What do you call an airplane that doesn’t fly?
A plane wingless.
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?
That.
An autistic woman walks into a bar. "A serving of Screaming Banshee, please," she says.
The bartender says, "Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago."
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!
1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.