One day I went to talk to my friend.
"Hi John!" I said.
No response.
"Oh, yeah."
I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.
"Hope that helps!"
That Jokes
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
Charlene's hairline was so far back that she was practically bald and fat.
I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...
Your eyebrows and hairline are so far apart that when Dora the Explorer went and found your hairline and was trying to find your eyebrows, the map couldn't even tell her.
Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.
Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
For some reason, people make fun of my name because it rhymes with something that starts with an F.
Today there was a line to punch me.
Yeah, that was the punch line.
Yo mama so ugly that she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?
Open wide, here comes the plane!
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Nacho cheese.
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
What do you call an IT teacher that touches his students?
A PDF file.
