That jokes

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

What do you call a cow that sleeps?

A bulldozer! 🐄💤

Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?

What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?

What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?

That hit the spot!

Hi! I love that you love a good time of my day.

What did the Los Angels Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breath? they gave George Floyd two squirts of zicam cold remedy inside his nose

Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.

Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!

What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?

A Corgi Potty.

Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?

I think it got lockjaw after that.

Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?

A: Kittens.

Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.

My friend thinks he is funny.

He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?

A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)

I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys...

Huh, I don’t recall ever eating a monkey!

Two cows in a field.

One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"

The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.