That jokes
What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.
Enjoy!
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?
The "curry muncher 2000."
Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.
I saw an orphan take a selfie... oh man, that was one alone family photo.
What is black and white and red all over?
Answer: A newspaper.
That is what my 3-year-old told me.
You were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!
Deku: Hey, Todoroki?
Shoto: Wht?
Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?
Shoto: :)
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."
I just donated $100 to a blind children's charity, suck that no one will see it.