That jokes

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

I hope death is a girl. That way, it'll never come for me.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.

Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!

What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute?

Ground beef.

I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake.

... It was a bittersweet victory.

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!

What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?

Stephen Hawking.

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.

That autistic kid having sex for the first time:

"U The Hips, U The Hips!"

Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.

What is the toughest part of the human body?

Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.

What is Labor Day? That’s when mommies have their babes.

What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?