That jokes
How do you know someone is fucking dumb?
They put jokes that have been used several times already.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
Three conspiracy theories walked into a bar, now tell me that's not a coincidence!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange who?
Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
What do you call a mom that is yours?
Your mom!
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.
Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.