That jokes
Holy cow!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"
Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.
You have thin feet that people think you were a duck.
Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?
Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!
Your hairline is so hideous that Derrick White's hairline envies yours.
An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.
Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.
You're so tall that you are a measuring tape.
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
I'd like to have kids one day.
I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!
Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."