That jokes

The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!

When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.

I said that I have been ill.

Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?

Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.

Isn't it sad that orphans are only allowed self raising flour? Orphan-👁👄👁

You're so fat that I run around you for exercise.

What's a rock band that has four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(

Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!

I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.

I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.

(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)

You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.

I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."

Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇

I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."

What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.

Your mom's my dad. Think about that!

Chuck Norris has gone to Mars. That's why there is no life on it.

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.

"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."

And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"

The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."