That jokes
*School Shooter Walks In*
That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.
Everyone, if I am not online, that is because I am on a vacation, so yeah.
Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?
I wake up and I find myself on the floor.
Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝
I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
Q. What do you call a goose that thinks he's a goat?
A. A Billy Goose.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Polo G is the goat, but that means nothing to you.
One day, there were three people: a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named Rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born; that is why she was named Rose.
Then the second child walked up and yelled, "Ahhhhhh!" and the mom said, "Shut up, Billy Goat!"
An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.
So I told him he was on my cock.
(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Not yo cheese!
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy.
You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.