That jokes

Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?

Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.

What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!

Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.

Mum: And that is?

*Kid walks out.*

*Kid comes back in with milk.*

Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

What is a difference between a tree, a tree house, that has to be the difference between a tree 🌲 from the tree house that has a difference in a tree tree house that is yuyi?

All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.

I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.

When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎

Isn't it sad that orphans are only allowed self raising flour? Orphan-👁👄👁

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

R2 Detour.

Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.

What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?

A vowel movement.

One volcano said, "Is that you, Qs? I am hot."

"Ligma" is a disease, so does that mean "ligma balls?"

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie!

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

How do you know someone is fucking dumb?

They put jokes that have been used several times already.

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

Your mom's my dad. Think about that!

As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!