That jokes

What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute?

Ground beef.

Bro's chin looks like it's from that movie cartoon named Kronk. No wonder he got stung by a bee and took an ibuprofen to reduce the pain, but instead it grew longer.

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"

What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?

What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?

Stephen Hawking.

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange ya glad this isn't another stupid orphan joke that has been posted 10 times before!

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

What is the toughest part of the human body?

Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.

What do you call a mom that is yours?

Your mom!

What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.

What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?

Hippo-POT-amus!

So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

Gf: Babe, do you love me?

Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.

Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...

Bf: Exactly.

Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.

You know that you f**k better than dad?

I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)

My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.

I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.