That jokes

Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔

Your mum is so fat that when she walked past the television, I missed a whole series of SpongeBob.

Your hairline goes so far back that Crown Burger was Crown Sandwiches.

Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?

Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.

When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.

I said that I have been ill.

Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?

Yeah, he Pasta-Way.

What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.

If my cat were a cactus, doesn't that make him the catus?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the side that he was not on.

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.

You're so ugly that I choked and died.

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.

The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.

Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...

Statue of Liberty ain't even American, that b*tch is French!

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?