That jokes
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Whoever said men will f**k anything that moves is *dead* wrong.
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the side that he was not on.
What do you call a midget that waves at you?
A microwave.
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
For our anniversary, I gave my girlfriend a picture of me inside a pistachio.
But that’s just me in a nutshell.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
So sad that orphans can't watch Family Feud. 😔