That jokes

You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.

You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.

What do you call a nosy Mexican?

That's nacho business.

What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.

Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

Why does a blind man still have eyes?

So he can see that he can't see.

Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?

Answer: Love.

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.

Your mum's hairline was so big that Dora the Explorer could not find it.