That jokes

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.

What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?

An escapee from a mental hospital.

Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.

Your mum's hairline was so big that Dora the Explorer could not find it.

I saw a girl crying. I told her, "Where are your parents?" She cried more after that. I got kicked out of the orphanage.

Bro, the airplanes that crashed, darn it, they got MVP!

Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?

(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)

The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.

2001/9/11, that day was fire.

I walk into a bar. There was a line of people waiting to punch me. Yup. That was the punch line.

Your hairline is so far back that I didn’t know you had a hairline.

What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?

A family picture.

You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.

My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 very quickly.

So I brought her a new bathroom scale.

Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.

Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?

"Damn, that's really stiff!"