That jokes

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.

What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?

Stuffed.

What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?

"Alpaca my bags."

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"

When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.

Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?

Answer: Love.

Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.

You're so fat, that you're fat.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.