That jokes

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.

But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

One time Uma Thurman was Poison Ivy; she was weird in that, except for her punny jokes.

I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.

I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,

they bring me things. <_>

"White beta males and fake alpha males are a joke that goes for POC men too."

The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.

What do you call a deer that has no eyes?

No eye deer.

Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...

Statue of Liberty ain't even American, that b*tch is French!

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

Jo mama is so fat that I could write 3 paragraphs, and she still wouldn't fit!

One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...

Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)

I got a sister.

That was a big mistake.