That jokes
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to the men he took home that said they were hungry? "I've got Ben and Jerry's in the freezer."
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
Your forehead is so big that it said, "To be continued."
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?
A Chinese guy said to his friend: "I saw you fucking your donkey yesterday."
His friend: "No, that's impossible, it's too hot inside."
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.
Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Dooris." "Dooris who?" "Door is locked, that's why I'm knocking!"
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
Are you happy to see me, or is that a bomb strapped to your chest and a detonator in your hand?
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.