That jokes

Women have eggs and milk in them...

And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.

Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."

People said that we needed to follow in Kobe's footsteps, but there are none.

What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.

Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.

So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon.

Riddle me this. Riddle me that.

Why did my parents never come back?

What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?

Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Bikini.

Bikini who?

Oh, that was just a bikini.

Everybody is mad because that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair.

I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.

Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.

Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.

I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Orphan: What's a mama?

Random kid: *shook*

You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.

Why did the orphan call her boyfriend "daddy"?

Because she wanted that D.