That jokes

Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.

I was born and raised in Newcastle.

My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.

Your mama is so fat that when she sat down on the couch for a family picture, it was just her.

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

HAIKU JOKE:

Helen Keller could Fuck a blind man so hard that she Ends up with his child.

Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?

What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

cock teaser

Russia vs Ukraine be like that COD Modern Warfare mission. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.

Sound familiar? 🤔

Well, in September 11th...

I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.

I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."

I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.

Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?

I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

I saw a little boy playing alone in the street. I told him that was a bad idea, then asked for his parents.

God, orphanages are fun to work at!!

What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?

They get choked.

My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

Kid: Licks money.

Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.

Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?