That jokes

Your mama is so skinny that when she went to go outside, the slightest breeze flew her all the way to New Mexico.

Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.

Me: *posts random joke about a duck*

That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."

That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."

Bro it’s a joke...

Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.

Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.

Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.

Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."

Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy.

Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?

He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”

Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.

You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.

Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.

A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.

When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"

For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."

He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."

Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.