That jokes

I wish my nails were emo so that they would cut themselves.

The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.

Why can an orphan never get picked up?

Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL

I read a quote about the Twin Towers that hit me like a plane.

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?

Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."

Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!

Person 1: Stop making suicidal jokes!

Person 2: Okay, okay, I’ll cut it out.

Person 1: Really?

Person 2: They're not even that deep.

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.

Sound familiar? 🤔

Well, in September 11th...

God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.

All that work wasted.

Why are so many Americans stupid? Because they shoot the ones that go to school.

My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.

The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."

A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

So, I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company.

Everyone is mad, but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

I always knew that Maranda Sings was orbiting Uranus.

Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!