New That Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a German that can not see?

A Not-see.

Why don’t autistic people like Autism Speaks?

They’re jealous that autism can speak.

(This is not meant to be triggering, sorry if it is).

Alright, class, we have 39 students and 40 seats.

That one dyslexic kid thinking he’s Superman:

What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?

"We need to circumcise that one."

For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?

"Chancel culture!"

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...

... the first two being politics and religion.

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.

A German priest went to America for a few months. Unfortunately for him, he did not speak the best English. He stayed with a beautiful, young single woman who worked at a nearby orphanage.

Every day, he visited her in the orphanage, and he always brought her small gifts, and of course to the young children.

The young woman thought the priest was flirting with him, and she knew he was not married. She left that thought in the back of her mind for a few weeks.

A few weeks later, she finally brought up her nerve to ask him. She asked him why he always visited her, and why all the gifts for her and the children.

Of course, due to his bad English, he struggled a bit with his sentence, but he said in his thick German accent, "Vell, I visit you and your, your littles, because the kind girls here are very beautiful and cute.

She was quite amused, and blushed a bit. The man was also a bit nervous, and appeared to want to leave her office. The Priest then excused himself, and went to read the orphans a bedtime story.

He then muttered to himself, "Ach, she's catching on to me! Stupid! Zey are called little girls and boys, not child boys and girls."

Jeffy- Daddy Daddy a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat

Marvin-I don’t believe that

Jeffy- but he said “Jeffy I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat”

The next morning

Jeffy- Daddy a monster pooped in your hat

*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*

Marvin- Jeffy I don’t believe you you popped in my hat

Trump: Caillou, can you please stop whining? That squirrel didn’t just eat our pizza, he also ditched your dad, and he’s your stepdad now.

Caillou: Why I’m bald, Trumpy?

Trump: I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a massive shit stain.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "He was a little tardy."

I replied to her, "I thought they all were."

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late I asked her why did you send James out to the hall? She said she was a little tardy I asked her are I thought they all were

It's been known that Michael Jackson decided to do a song for the soundtrack for Free Willy, because he thought that he would get free willy in exchange for composing a song.