Text Jokes

On text* Boy : Hey! I love you... Girl : eww u are so ugly *boy sent a pic of his dic* Girl : beauty doesn't matter in love

me: "you wanna see my dad" some kid: "yeah?" me: "close your eyes and he will appear" some kid: "he ain't appearing" me: "sorry i thought he would appear for you. he won't appear for me" *the kid laughs"

moral: not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on 🙃

One day i was texting my friend on roblox and i made her made her mad. she told me she was gonna kill me. that night she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 pm sharp. but she made sharp in all caps. so i went to the bathroom at pm the next day. now i know what she meant by SHARP on roblox...... she brought a knife and i was in hell by then. like for the next part!

BREAKING NEWS

All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.

The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.

8:45 PM
When your childs born
aucoustic
Don't ever text me again
or I'll call the cops
Read 11:47 AM

Kenya text: Guys leave gwen alone! Pls! It is not her fault...btw STOP AND GO TO ATHORE JOKES

I got a text from Kb she said: Really Gwen said that! Will fine Idc! "Hurt" Thanks a lot Gwen!

This is whats going to happen to all the junior high girls on here.

I stopped a woman getting
kidnapped today
M Really?! How?
+0 Text message
hold up
Self control

A man (ameenya sheed) text a nother man(bob) and said

"Hi im, ameenya sheed."

Bob" you not in my shed because i dont have one but i have a garage, i dont think your in there:

So there's Fred and Frank, now they've been 2 friends for years, but Fred see he's depressed. Badly. Either way, so F+F are texting each other and here's how is goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge to harshly)

Frank: Yo Fred: hi... Frank: u heard about de competition? Fred: yeah.... Frank: You wanna hang out? Fred: ....... Frank: what? I've got some noose (news) for you Fred: ... I( Frank: fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan tho. We don't wanna be hanging on the end. Fred: *sigh* you know....you really can't rope me into this competition.

Me when I’m texting somebody and their spelling is so bad I can’t understand what they’re saying

INNOCENT! THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE THAT THE GIRL WAS 13. It doesn't matter what texts he sent. There is no way to prove that the girl was 13, or the fact that it was a girl. Failed sting operation.

Ignore line & ovals

Faisal Saeed Al Mutar
20 hrs.
Like Page
It must be incredibly frustrating as an Islamic terrorist not to have your views
and motives taken seriously by the societies you terrorize, even after you
have explicitly and repeatedly stated them. Even worse, those on the
regressive left, in their endless capacity for masochism and self-loathing,
have attempted to shift blame inwardly on themselves, denying the terrorists
even the satisfaction of claiming responsibility.
It's like a bad Monty Python sketch:
"We did this because our holy texts exhort us to to do it."
"No you didn't."
"Wait, what? Yes we did..."
"No, this has nothing to do with religion. You guys are just using religion as a
front for social and geopolitical reasons."
"WHAT!? Did you even read our official statement? We give explicit Quranic
justification. This is jihad, a hely crusade against pagans, blasphemers, and
disbelievers."
"No, this is definitely not a Muslim thing. You guys are not true Muslims, and
you defame a great religion by saying so."
Huh!? Who are you to tell us we're not true Muslims!? Islam is literally at the
core of everything we do, and we have implemented the truest most literal
and honest interpretation of its founding texts. It is our very reason for being."
"Nope. We created you. We installed a social and economic system that
alienates and disenfranchises you, and that's why you did this. We're sorry."
"What? Why are you apologizing? We just slaughtered you mercilessly in the
streets. We targeted unwitting civilians - disenfranchisement doesn't even
enter into it!"
"Listen, it's our fault. We don't blame you for feeling unwelcome and lashing
out."
"Seriously, stop taking credit for this! We worked really hard to pull this off,
and we're not going to let you take it away from us."
"No, we nourished your extremism. We accept full blame."
"OMG, how many people do we have to kill around here to finally get our
message across?"

i Verizon
<
Hey what baby?
What?
Oooo. Whys that?!
Ooo thats good
Hahahahaha
O'
10:20
A
do you know what numbers better
than 69?
98%
oooo yayyyy
Text Message
hey babe
88
cus you get ate twice
ahahahahaha
↑

dum asses

Today I sent out a text saying,
"Hey, I lost my phone,
will you call it?"
gapbagap.com
12 people called me...
I need smarter friends.

I hate when people do this

Don't text me while
i'm in the middle
of
texting
you. Now
i have to
change my
whole text.

Mom:Dont forget to unload the dishwasher

Mom:did you finish ur homework?

Mom:We are going to ur grandmothers house for thanksgiving

Mom:Dad and i talked we are getting a new car next month

Son:u are?? oh my gosh thank you

Mom:No i was just making sure you were getting my texts

Son:that was cruel

if ur frundy on a game sud i will kill u in the game u sud saw will if u did kill me i will tell the my more frundy to ban u from the game the frundy sud what u got frundy on the game iack u r not my frundy the all frundy u be ban if u dont get it will af fun if u dont like the text am come for u ok k now like it the end

Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brothers room and catches him watching something so he asks “what you watching” his brother replies “ nothing “ and drops his phone but the he gets a text from his teacher texted him a picture of her naked saying “ after school come fuck me “ so Johnny looks and says “ ew I’m telling mom” and he ran with his brothers phone and showed his mom and his mom said “ok johnny I’ll take care of you brother “ and she told him to leave and he did and his brother ran in his moms room naked and his mom said “oh that’s big how about you do what your teacher told you to do to her to me” and a few hours later Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex so he closed the door and walked away