New Text Jokes

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

DId you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.

One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage

I accidentally texted my wife “I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her.”

Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100. Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.

When I’m bored I text a random number “I hid the body... now what”

BREAKING NEWS

All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.

The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you then they snob you again

Why can’t you private text someone in a community? _____________________________________________

Because a community has more than two people.

if u text ur crush and they leave u on read, just know that read has four letters. yk what also has four letters? mine. so that basically means that you are theirs. :)

Me when my girlfriend comes home I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out and her text says yes. Get the whip your out

Stacy:: honey I'm kinda new to texting what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, lots of love I guess

Margert: Stacy are you there, I don't know if you heard but Amber and her 3 kids were killed in a car crash this morning I'm in total shock

Stacy: lol

My ex's dad died while she was texting me she said she had a boyfriend but I told her I had a dad.

My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics 😮‍💨

One day, a little girl was texting her friend. " Guess what Angelica!" said the little girl

"What?" Angelica replied

"I'm a guy."

You so ugly whenever you say hi to so when they walk away and say that you were too ugly and they go take a bath right away cuz you so stinky and they say that you look like your mama wait your Mama must be either just like you because I can see her way from a mile You say you put on perfume but every time I spell you you feel like you poo poo you're so ugly that when your mom look in the mirror you cry you're so stupid the second grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten Head start every grade below you you can't even go to 20 grade stands for 9th grade you can't even go to grocery stores and people that tell you that you're so ugly they give you compliments just to make you feel better you know that everybody just like you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings so just stay in your mind hey you want to text Matt you know it was you because every time you see you you think that you matter fact he doesn't even like it for you he just want your money girl who even like you 😈😈

One day i was texting my friend on roblox and i made her made her mad. she told me she was gonna kill me. that night she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 pm sharp. but she made sharp in all caps. so i went to the bathroom at pm the next day. now i know what she meant by SHARP on roblox...... she brought a knife and i was in hell by then. like for the next part!

Talk to me if you are online.

The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them 370HSSV 0773H and tell them to read it upside down.

INNOCENT! THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE THAT THE GIRL WAS 13. It doesn't matter what texts he sent. There is no way to prove that the girl was 13, or the fact that it was a girl. Failed sting operation.