Identifier

Identifier Jokes

Hooker

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

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  • Rapist

    99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.

  • 7
  • Rape

    How do you get away with rape and incest in California?

    Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.

    Bubba

    Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"

    Criminal

    A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.

    Rape

    How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously

    Rapist

    90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.

    Chick

    What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?

    She can't identify you.

    Wife

    Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.

    Pronoun

    You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?

    Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...

    Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.

    Man

    What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!

    Kilometer

    I sexually identify as kilometers per second.

    Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).

    Cow

    A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.

    The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"

    Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"

    Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"

    Hairline

    Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.

    Rapist

    How did the villagers identify the masked rapist?

    He was the only one in the village who believed the victim.