Tell jokes

People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

What is black and white and red all over?

Answer: A newspaper.

That is what my 3-year-old told me.

What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?

Hang in there!

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.

Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.

These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?

Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!

I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣

I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.

Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly!

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?