Tell jokes

Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

How to kick a deaf person off the plane:

Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.

Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.

Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.

Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.

These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?

Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!

I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.

If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣

I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.

I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.

I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.

Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I'm blind.

Mom: Exactly!

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

How to make an orphan die?

Tell them to yell until their folks come home.

A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let's hear" said the teacher.

"My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit." "She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife." "She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops." "She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

Pin drop silence in the class!

"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

"Stay away from Mummy when she's drunk...!!!!"

There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.

Now that's a hell of a ghost story!

I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.