I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.
If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.
Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
U know what you could use a orphan as a punching bad ............ what are they gunna do tell their parents
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
I have a cow over at my house spending the night with me because she has been out in the streets homeless and poor, so my family forced it to come and live with me at my place.
The cow asks me, "Where do I keep all the dairy items like the milk, cheese, yogurt, and meat?" I tell her, "In the refrigerator! Where do you think I keep them, on the farm with all the rest of those cows?"
That night we had to share a room and sleep in the same damn bed. Then she started getting high and drank some cow wine with titty milk, and it made her shit all over the bed.
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.
This one butt check said to the other one it's really personal but it's ok I'll tell you.it said hey let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint watch a movie and go upstairs in the room and get down.
