New Tell Jokes - Page 38 - Worst Jokes Ever

how do u get a blonde to drown u tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird

U know what you could use a orphan as a punching bad ............ what are they gunna do tell their parents

The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you ...”

I tell a man get me a glock 19 he comes back with a glove i was about to shout at him but then i saw a pistol in his pocket so i left and thanked him

How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant ain't no telling who" in better shape the elephant or the woman i guess it's probably weight watchers.

Why did you put yo dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all This? Because I forget to wash and dry them with paper towel.

This one butt check said to the other one it's really personal but it's ok I'll tell you.it said hey let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint watch a movie and go upstairs in the room and get down.

What do you tell your butt check when you need to use the bathroom hold it in so you want get constipated and die.

If the teachers tells you stand up if your not gay and there’s that one kid in the wheelchair

if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"

I would tell you a good joke but I can’t so here is a bad one

I would tell you a joke about a teacher but she’d kill you at school

Q:How do you get a squirrle to like yopu A:Act like a nut 😂

Q:Why dont eggs tell jokes? A:Because they ́d crack each other up

Son:Dad can you put my shoes on?Dad:No son i dont think they would fit me Im on a sea food diet when i see food i eat it

I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me

It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta they discussed about their hobbies. Churchill said : " I collect the jokes people tell me about me". "That's a coincidence- said Stalin,- I collect the people who tell jokes about me."

So Johnny was working at a deli, a woman walks up and asks, do you have any salad? Johnny says no, she asks? What about carrots? Again Johnny says no, she says what about bananas? Johnny says "tell ya what, spell out "lad" in salad" she spells L A D, Johnny replies "spell "rot" in carrot" she spells R O T, Johnny says "now spell "fuck" in vegetables or fruits" she says "there is no fuck in vegetables or fruits" Johnny exclaims "thats what ive been trying to tell you!"

So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.