Technology jokes
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
What do you call a Vietnamese antivirus scanner?
An-Thi-cho-rho-na.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
Haven’t they switched him off and then back on yet?
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?
Mother: He died.
Daughter: How did he die?
Mother: He never got recharged.
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
8 bit: Are you ok?
7 bit: Yes, I’m just a bit off...
Get it? 8 bits = a byte :)
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day? F5
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
If I die, delete my search history.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!