Technology jokes
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
I made a website about orphans.
It didn’t have a homepage though.
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?
Yo mama so fat that she doesn't need the internet, she is worldwide.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!