Technology jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Instagram was a weed delivery service.
I made a website about orphans.
It didn’t have a homepage though.
Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
Yo mama so fat that she doesn't need the internet, she is worldwide.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
What has two wings and an arrow?
The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.