what do u call security outside a samsung store guardians of the galaxy
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Why didn't they just switch him on and off again, or switch his batteries?
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
Yo mama so clueless, she dialed 911 on the microwave.
Why do hackers in Africa have hard times dealing with firewalls?
They don't have water.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?
The fridge actually runs.
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
Y'all, I'm suspended till Wednesday and can't do much cuz I'm on a tablet, not my computer. Tell autterpop I won't be on till Wednesday or after.
What is an astronaut's favorite letter on a keyboard?
SPACE.
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
