Technology jokes
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Why do orphans want a phone so bad?
Because it has a home button.
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
What was the orphan's first video game console?
PS5 because it has no home button.
This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.
Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.
Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.
Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!
1950: In the future there will be flying cars.
2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
Stephen Hawking got an engine swap with a Nissan 350Z, and they said his wheelchair wasn't street legal :/
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His power went out.
My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We'll see about that.” Then I unplugged his life support.
I asked Siri why I am still single; she showed me a pic of my mom riding on my dick!
Why can't orphans exit out of their games? They don't have a home button.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
What did Stephen Hawking see before he died?
The blue screen of death.