Liner jokes

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.

Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?

Because he couldn't do standup.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.

Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?

Because he can’t do stand up.

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

Like it if you judge people's hairlines.

Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

All you need is a razor blade in life.