Technology jokes
An apple and an emo are at the top of a tree, they both fall at the same time.
Who hit the ground first?
The apple won because the emo had forgotten to connect the internet.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
Boo Boo Doo.
Your forehead is so big that you dream on IMAX.
What is the difference between an orphan and a phone?
A phone has a home button.
You're sponsoring eBay with your hairline.
Made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, there is no homepage.
Why do orphans love elevators?
They raise people!
Why can't orphans be in charge of making web pages?
Because they can't add a home page.
Why can't an orphan build a website? Because it won't have a homepage.
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.
Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.
I donated a computer to the orphanage...
It didn’t have a motherboard.
Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.
Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.
Other family members: ...
I was going to post a Kobe Briant joke, but the site crashed.
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Why can’t the orphan get any of the new iPhones?
'Cause none of them have a home button.
Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”