Technology

Technology jokes

Why can't orphans be in charge of making web pages?

Because they can't add a home page.

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.

Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.

Other family members: ...

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.