Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.
Me: I can only see fat.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?
A: There’s no signal.
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
It’s so sad how Stephen Hawking was just rolling too far away from the outlet. RIP :(
Why can't you buy an iPhone X?
It's too expensive.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
Stephen Hawking died because he lost Wi-Fi connection.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He traveled too far from the outlet.