Technology jokes
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?
Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!
Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.
Me: I can only see fat.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?
A: There’s no signal.
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂
Stephen Hawking's death was completely accidental.
He pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep".
Fortnite Android Beta
What did the HP say to a Dell?
Hello!
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
It’s so sad how Stephen Hawking was just rolling too far away from the outlet. RIP :(
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
What's the resemblance between a microwave and human reproduction?
They both make a sound at the end.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"I'm lagging."