Teacher jokes

Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."

Nobody stands up.

After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."

Little Johnny stands up.

"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"

"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."

Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.

Alright class, the person who answers my next question gets to go home.

Then a guy throws a pencil. The teacher asks, "Who threw that pencil?" "I did, I get to go home."

My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"

So I threw my dictionary at her.

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.

Wanda: Ok, Timmy.

Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!

Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.

*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*

Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.

Do you know the teacher that went up into space?

You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."

Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!

Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.

Teacher: Why not?

Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.

Me: Mrs., can I read my book?

Teacher: Sure.

Me: *watching my Chromebook*

Teacher to Student: You are supposed to be here at 9 am!

Student: Oh, did I miss anything?

Teacher: I was an orphan when I was younger.

Student: Oof.

Teacher: Is anyone not here?

Student: Yes, your parents.

I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.

I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.

Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?

I tried to hit G by putting D.

Kid: How much do you get paid?

Teacher: Minimum wage.

I miss seeing my friends and teachers.

Kid: Hey, Dad.

Dad: You're an hour late.

Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

Dad: By yourself?

Kid: No.

Dad: A boy?

Kid: I was with the teacher.