Talk jokes

A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."

Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.

What is a type of cancer that:

Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?

Easy, the answer is Fortnite.

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.

Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.

To Drew the Devil,

We NEED to talk RN. I'm very mad at you, and we need to talk.

Angry Alex

Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.

When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.

Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.

"Talking Ben killed me. JK, it was talking me."

What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?

Two Aussie.

A girl named Kariah was at a night club. She was twerking and shaking, but she was just there for fun with her friends until some guy named Jaden came up to her and started flirting with her.

Jaden: WOW Girl!

Kariah: What?

Jaden: It's just that a sexy girl like you should be having sex, not begging for sex!

Kariah: Okay, listen pimp, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you around me one bit!

Jaden grabbed her hips with such FORCE!

Jaden: Come on, let's go somewhere...private! And have a good time, a fun time!

Kariah slapped him and left the night club, telling her friends she was gone, leaving a tip for the drinks she bought.

Daina: Hey, what's wrong?

Mary: Yeah!

Greg: Sweetie...tell us.

Ariana: Come on...did someone try to touch you in a weird way?!

Kariah wanted to tell them but couldn't; it was too personal.

Kariah: Uh I have to go...it's way passed my curfew! Love you!

Kariah sighed and waited for a cab down by Heyo street. Then a cab man started dirty talking her...DIRTY!

Cab man: Hey, sexy lady! Where are you going?...need a...wow...whoohoo...dang...ride?

Kariah rolled her eyes then stuck her tongue out at the cab man. This fucking cab men said this.

Cab man: Ooooo...use that for the sex!

Kariah: I don't think so!

Cab man: ha uh ha... I see the way your looking at me I know you like me!

Kariah walks away from him and finds another cab, but the cab man did not take her mean talk and weird silents for an answer. Instead, the cab man got out of his "Cab" and harrowed around her.

Cab man: HEY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING!?

Kariah: TO MY KIDS AND MY HUSBAN! SO GET LOST BITCH!!!!

You see Kariah was married, she just came to be with her friends at a night club. Cab man gets close to her so she ran...she ran as fast as she could till she tripped on her high heels, once the cab man got close to her he picked her up...I think you know what he did okay I'll tell you. Cab man picked her up and took her back to the cab a.k.a taxi of course she was not gonna give up without a fight...will she gave up!

Cab man: I know ya like me! I just know it! You dressed up in a hoochie and sluty dress for nothing will wrong you LIKE ME maybe love if we get lucky!

He drove her to his house and then took off his cloths "underware included" got on top of her and "Rape was born again". Kariah did not remember a thing that night only that she was forced agianst her will too will have "S.E.X"

Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.

This is how animals were named.

"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?

"Bison. Perfect."

My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."

Bully: I wasn't talking to you.

Me: Then why are you listening?

Why did you say hi? Babies don't talk.

Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!

It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.

A girl's pussy is a muff, and when we have something against our mouths, they say our voice is muffled, so do I think the origin of the word "muffled" is talking while eating muff?