Talk Jokes

What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?

Two Aussie.

What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:

Nothing, donkeys don't talk.

Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.

One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?

When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."

A person with white cloak and mask is raising their hand. The text says: "Silence, headache. 12h 7m average screentime is talking."

We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!

Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.

Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?

Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.

"Prince???? Where are you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we anyway? (I love you so much!)"

Everyone, Alya is okay!!!!!!!!!! She got up, she can walk, and she can talk regular!!!!

Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

Isn't it ridiculous to hear INBRED WHITE TRASH RACISTS talking $#iT about OTHER "Cultures"?

Little Johnny was walking down a dirt country road, and he came upon an old farmer leaning against a fence looking sad, shaking his head. He walked up to the old farmer and asked him what's wrong. The old farmer said, "My mule, he just won't do nothing. He don't work anymore, always looking sad, barely eats, just sad." Little Johnny said, "Can I go talk to him?" "Sure," the old farmer said, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went back in the barn, saw the mule just sad, and sighing. A few minutes later, Little Johnny came out and said, "Your mule is fixed." The old farmer ran in, and saw the mule laughing, just rolling, and crying laughing. "Thank you, thank you," the old farmer said, and Little Johnny was on his way. Well, a few days later, Little Johnny was walking down the same old dirt road, and came upon the old farmer again, looking sad. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "It's my mule again. Ever since you talked to him, he won't do nothing, he won't work, just laughing all day. What did you say?" "Can I go in and talk to him again?" Little Johnny asked. "Sure," said the old farmer, "he's back in the barn." Little Johnny went in the barn and a few minutes later came back out. "Your mule is fixed, sir." The old farmer went in and saw the mule crying, crying really hard. The old farmer came running out of the barn, "Hey boy! What did you say to my mule? One day he's sad, then laughing, now he's crying. Just what did you say to my mule?" Little Johnny smiled and answered, "Well, the first time I told him my dick was bigger than his; this time I showed it to him."

So I made a simple cancer joke on roblox with my friend an then both hers dumb ass friends we're like, OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!! THAT PISSED ME OFF like damn woman it's not like I said, IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB ASSES. If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH